Finding the right balance when giving kids homework help is tricky; there are so many factors that play into this. We all want our kids to succeed, and in the short term, it is tempting to help kids with homework a little too much. After all, incomplete homework will drag down grades, and homework is an daily task that must be done before everyone can relax.
However, too much help can mean, in the short term, that the day's lesson is not reinforced, which is the point of homework in the first place. In the long term, if parents are overseeing homework too much, kids won’t learn the organization skills they need to complete homework on their own. They can become disconnected from understanding their responsibilities when it comes to homework.
All that said, kids are individuals with different strengths and weaknesses. Though the level of organization required to complete assignments should be on par with a child’s grade level, kids with learning difficulties or organizational issues may need more help from a parents. That help, though, should be geared toward teaching kids how to succeed on their own rather than simply getting though the lessons.
Let Your Child Take the Lead
One of the skills homework teaches is how to tackle unpleasant tasks. Guide your child in learning this, but don’t do it for him. For instance, don’t open your child’s backpack, pull out the homework book, read off the assignments and check that all the needed materials came home. Though it will be much faster if you do it, this is your child’s job.
If necessary, prompt your child to do this and ask him or her to predict how long each assignment will take. Ask questions about upcoming projects and assignments and have your child spell out the plan for completing these before you make any suggestions regarding them. Make your questions open-ended ("What assignments do you have due next week?") rather than specific ("Don’t you have a book report due next Friday?") so your child can learn to think of these questions on his own.
If procrastination is an issue, set a time frame for starting homework and consequences for not starting within that time frame. Consult with your child about when the starting time should be. If you disagree on when is best, maybe try your child’s schedule first with the stipulation that if procrastinating continues your schedule will be instituted. Also discuss how much time assignments should take and emphasize that procrastination only prolongs the time spent on homework.
Create a Productive Homework Environment
Setting up a homework space for your child does not mean you need to devote a room to homework or even buy a desk. If you have the room to create a space that is exclusively for homework, that’s great. If you don’t, you can still find a good space for your child to work. Be sure the area is free of distractions, like the TV.
Collect up all the things kids might need for homework--paper, pencils, pens, calculators, rulers, protractors, compass, etc.--and keep them together in basket or container. Looking for supplies is a classic homework avoidance technique.
Make Use of Homework Blogs, Parent Portals, School Websites
These are great sources of information about homework and general communication between home and school. The problem with these electronic resources, though, are that schools and teachers can be sporadic about updating them. So kids should always write down assignments at school even if they are also available online.
As a parent, knowing assignments and due dates can be invaluable in guiding your child. And a child who knows that mom may well double check online what's written in the homework book will take care to be accurate. Don't let this new technology mean it becomes mom's job to constantly check up on homework. Just because she can check, doesn't mean she should have to.
Use a Homework ContractEven though, homework completion is good for kids in the long run, kids often don't think about the long run. A little external motivation can help and this is where a homework contract can help out. In this agreement between kids and parents, what is expected of kids is clearly laid out as well as what rewards they will receive for keeping their end of the bargain.
Hire Homework Help
In addition to the time constraints the helping with homework brings, sometimes parents and kids just don't make the best homework partners. And this may be a reason to find a different homework helper. Some kids may learn better from different people because all the other parent-child tensions, unrelated to homework, can come in play when a parent helps. Some kids may need help in a specific subject that a parent simply doesn't know enough about. This is when a parent may consider homework help. This could mean hiring anyone from a specialized tutor to a responsible teen to help with homework. Or, a parent might want to consider enrolling kids in an after-school program that includes homework help.