Jon & Kate Plus 8 Equals TMI
A few weeks ago, I read Lisa Belkin's Motherlode column in which she pledged not to watch anymore. While I agreed with her sentiment that a need for ratings was feeding the marital discord, I didn't see the harm in watching. I don't have a Nielsen meter in my home.
The harm, I thought, is not in watching Jon and Kate but in contributing to the frenzy by writing about them. Still I was tempted to comment on Belkin's statement that the couple managed to "support eight children while holding a job (reality TV star!) that can be done at home." (Maybe I'd add reality star to my list of work-at-home opportunities!)
But I resisted…until now. Like Belkin's blog yesterday and countless others today, I'm throwing in my 2 cents, saying something that maybe I ought not. But that's really nothing new, as my kids might tell you.
Actually this isn't about Jon and Kate as much as it's about every parent who at one time or another has divulged too much information about his or her family.
Clearly Jon and Kate are not in the league of those of us who have told embarrassing stories about our kids to our circle of friends or even we mommy bloggers who have the potential to spread the humiliation not only to friends but to immortalize our children's awkward moments on the Internet.
But as with any of us, the information we spread about our children feels benign at first. I'm sure at the start it did for Jon and Kate. What could be wrong with recording toddler cuteness times six? But the problem wasn't the recording of their lives but the dissemination of that information as they grow.
For the rest of us, the practical parenting lesson is not that a reality TV show can destroy your marriage. It is that families should be private spaces for kids (and adults) to grow and change and make mistakes.
We need to think twice about what we say. Of course, not everything can or should be private, but just as we teach our kids to respect our privacy we need to respect theirs. Toilet training stories might be OK when kids are three but not when they are 10. Or the Gosselins' case, when they're 25 and TLC cracks open the archives for an anniversary special.
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Comments
Very well said. That is exactly what I have felt all along. There have been so many TMI moments..some of which, I felt as if I should not be privy to.
One that sticks out in the majority of viewers’ minds is “the constipation episode”. While Kate was too busy
buyingpicking out beds for the ‘tups, (if memory serves correct) little Joel complained for quite a while, even before leaving home, that “his bottom hurt”. Kate could not be interrupted, so she sent the tyke and Jon to the van, with cameras in tow, to film the excruciating pain Joel was in, and the extraction performed by Jon-in the back of the open van. Kate and Jon then went on to discuss the situation during the ex “loveseat interviews”..almost making light of the situation. These children clearly do not have a say in what has been filmed during their lives. Kate once declared she used one episode as a “teaching tool” for Mady’s anger when she would lash out and hit her siblings. Kate would make her watch the episode to “show her how bad she looked doing it”. The separation/divorce is also too much information. This is a family that includes eight small children, who unfortunately can not defend themselves. I do not consider Kate to be a celebrity. She comes off as a diva, and something a little stronger.I agree with you, these moments are on film forever and there will be a day when an “Anniversary Special Edition” will be marketed..probably by none other than Kate. These children will be older and I do not think they will be laughing or having good memories of a majority of what they see.
I don’t remember all this criticism when things were going better for the family, so I hate that now it seems open season with a scattergun. Suddenly everyone is an expert – which is typical when stars fall from the sky. This is a scattergun reply – to everyone who is leaping on the bandwagon of public opinion. Yes, things have gotten out of control, but the family deserves our understanding and support while they very publicly now put asunder a lot of dreams – and alter forever the family dynamic – even one we all saw coming. I remember the scene where Jon took off on his roller blades – escaping the “mom” yelling, “Jon, you can’t just run away – you’re supposed to be watching the kids.” The few moments of joy on his face expressed a lot of pent-up frustration and to me, indicated he was beginning to plan his escape.
And especially poignant was Kate’s couch comment early on – how worried she was at one time that Jon would leave her because the divorce rate for parents of multiples is 4x the average which in our land is 50% for marriages in general.
Their larger-than-life family has provided us a lot of entertainment and warm fuzzies. I can only speak for myself but the overall sense I have had it, THANK YOU GOD that I have never had to commit to such a situation. And perhaps I am feeling particularly charitable this morning, but I think we further harm the family with all of the recent condemnation – after all – those same kids who will see themselves on the 25th anniversary special some year – can also read the BLOGS, the commentators, and their critics – when all they deserve is to grow up as normally as possible, considering the circumstances they are in. I, for one, could not even imagine the efforts involve 24/7 to govern such a brood, and if it turns out that the parents are human, a little overscheduled at times, but a necessary approach to maintaining order and discipline. The children are well-behaved and lovely. This is not the circus atmosphere of another recent mother of multiples – now THERE is something to get up in arms about!
Let’s give the Jon & Kate Eight a rest and use the energy to be concerned over Nadia and the scenes we do NOT see in the light of day. THAT is a situation for concern and monitoring.
I can’t figure out why this story and these people garnish so much attention. Why should I care? I found a comment that completely voices my frustration with the whole thing.
http://www.pandalous.com/topic/jon_and_kate_and_why